commentator / repeater..

yes.....we have heard this before...now how many times will you rant the same lines...think of some new lines. i can now almost predict what the commentators are going to say during the IPL match...
here is a collection of lines which you will get to hear in every single IPL match.... our commentators follow some strict guidelines and scripts...cant blame them...he he :) its their 'style'!
01. "thats the MRF Blimp.. (ohhh WOW!!...what is a blimp??)...flying high and overseeing things. This is the first time we see a blimp in India, technology comes to IPL. MRF is the leading tyre manufacturing company
in India and also runs the MRF pace academy, the legend Dennis Lillee is the director..(yawn ....abe kitni baar bologey?). Gautam Gambhir and Rohit Sharma are the ______..." so on and so forth. Sometimes, the same lines are repeated in each innings...it is irritating.
my question - Why is damn blimp there... what technology and what purpose? it does not even give you any aeriel shots of the ground, neither does it fly arround and tell about the weather....its like a gas balloon with wings and an electronic advertising board flashing MRF....crap
lesser known fact - The blimp actually never travelled to all the venues....broadcasters fool the TV audience by showing in between recorded footages of the blimp ...even when the blimp is NOT actually there....haw! I was there for the Delhi - Bangalore match at Kotla... and the freakin blimp was nowhere in the horizon on a clear night....cummon ... itna jhooth! Why ?
02. "there is the Commisioner, Lalit Modi - he must be a happy man seeing the way things are going..." Yeah...we know that prick...and why shouldn't he be happy! Hats off to him for keeping the scandal under cover for 3 years in a row! hail Modi ... he should be the PM of India....
my view - Lalit Modi and his goons should be kicked out...and he should just stay away from cricket....he is a virus! And yes...has spread it well across the system. Dont know what impact all this will have in the next edition of this carnival.
03. whenever a young under 23 cricketer takes a catch, dives and saves a run or hits the odd boundary - the commentator goes.."..he would be in reconing for the under 23 cricketer of the year....what a young talent. Rohit Sharma won it last year..."
04. even when those sitter catches are taken by the fielders, they are quoted as being "Karbonn kamaal catch" - its like qualifying each catch as the best catch of the match...
05. Ravi Shastri at the toss..."..we have the 2 captains, the match referee...ALL IN READINESS."
06. Siva on Praveen Kumar - "He has the ability of swinging the ball both ways." (whack - he goes for a boundary!) And Siva says this every time without fail...does he realize?
07. Kumble on screen - "Kumble - the wily ol' fox...a fierce competitor...always looking for wickets..he does not turn the ball much...."
08. when Muralitharan is rested - "...wonder why Murali is not in the playing 11, he can make the ball turn even on glass...and would have been very useful on this wicket...."
09. At the MoM awards - "That was a terrific innings. blah blah ... you paced your innings well....what was going through your mind when you were out there in the middle? Did you set yourself a target...."
my thought - I dont think when the batsman is out there in the middle, he calculates so much....his focus is on the next delivery to be bowled. Who has the time to set targets....but when one wins the MoM for batting... it seems it was all planned and easy.
10. the pitch report by far seems to be the most useless piece of information provided by the so called "experts" - they cover almost everything, all possible conditions in one breath - just to be safe...e.g. " This is a hard, dry / flat wicket....patches of grass here and there, well rolled in. There is a bit of moisture and will get to see some swing in the early overs. Batting would become a bit easier as the game progresses...spinners can get some purchase on this wicket. Overall a good wicket to bat on...if the side batting first can see through the first 6 overs or so, I think a big total is on the cards." OR " The wicket is a bit 2 faced with some variable bounce...there is something in this wicket for the bowlers. The odd one will stay a bit low...having said that, it will hold for the 40 overs and wicket wont change much...if the batsmen spend some time in the middle, the runs will flow in..." Ohh...cummon ....i understood it all, whats new here? And by the way....what is the mathematics / science behind arriving at those "par" scores for the match - how do they predict the total score a team will put up .... "150 will be a par score....anything above 170, they have a real good chance" Yeah...Einstein!

can you think of more?? add on in your comments....